Here We Go Again

I honestly don’t know what sort of year 2015 has been. I don’t remember most of it. That’s what time is like for me now – just a blur. Things happen and keep happening, and I feel like a dry leaf swirling around and swept onward by the current of life.

There were plenty of friends around, mostly old, some new. Plenty of laughs and good cheer. World grew more strident around. D turned all grown up almost overnight. Grew a little wiser and honed my homegrown gems of wisdom. Read a lot. Wrote more than expected.Work was more or less steady. No major hiccups health-wise.

What more can one ask for in life? Sometimes I am seized by a peculiar desire – I want to go away somewhere unfamiliar, somewhere difficult  – I want to miss my current life. I already know just how valuable it is, and yet I want to miss it so much that I really know its value. That is a very strange thing to desire. Yes, I confuse myself sometimes.

A New Year holds little glamour. In a funny way, as you grow older, every day is precious, and so special days aren’t so special any more. Still, there’s no reason not to celebrate, not to feel hope and promise of a better, newer tomorrow.

So Happy New Year, folks! May the new year bring you everything you dreamed of, everything you wanted, and everything you really need.


Just saw this tweet by Rajdeep Sardesai:

Guess Guardian and BBC are also ‘paid’, bikau, news traders and presstitutes!

I think Rajdeep needs to read Frederick Forsyth’s autobiography – The Outsider: My Life in Intrigue.

In it, Forsyth eviscerates the BBC completely. Its “Africa policy” was so despicable that I have lost respect for BBC. I had such respect for this agency. I remember how we used to see BBC first to get the “right” news, rather than watch Doordarshan with its biased coverage. But gradually, the bias in BBC too was becoming quite visible. Reading the book was a revelation. It makes you lose all trust in the media, which is a real pity. Why has the media become so untrustworthy?

Forsyth says:

The calling of a true news and current affairs organization is to hold the Establishment of any country to account but never to join it.

I guess this is what we expect from the media, but there are not many takers for this definition unfortunately, are there? 😦


Don’t you just hate it when you think of the most perfect retort much after the moment has passed?

I just had this moment when I was reading my own post of a few months ago.

When I read this sentence:

Hmmm, maybe I should go and immerse myself in cleaning up the house. But unfortunately, that does not qualify as a Eureka-moment in my books.

I immediately thought to myself:

That’s not a Eureka-moment, it’s more a Eureka-Forbes moment!

I laughed to myself, then felt a bit annoyed for not having thought of that when writing the piece.

Yeah, I can be silly sometimes. 😀

Looking Outwards

Yesterday, we were all dressed up to go for a pooja. On our way down, a little girl and her father stepped into the elevator. The girl was wearing a really cute little pink skirt that flared so nicely that I couldn’t help complimenting her on it. She was thrilled, of course, and her father got her to pirouette for us too.

Dear D and me gushed. And that would have been the end of it.

But her father was thoughtful enough to point out something.

Look at Dear D, he said. She’s also looking so pretty all dressed up, isn’t she? For the first time, the little girl looked up, away from her little pink skirt. She gazed at D, smiled shyly and agreed with her dad.

What a a thoughtful and useful life-lesson! Not to get so caught up in yourself that you fail to notice the beauty around you. To take a moment to admire and compliment other events that are worthy of notice.  To keep the ‘me’ aside for some time and look at the world with fresh eyes.

Life’s lessons come at the most unexpected of times. Being open to them is enriching.


The ubiquitous tea or chai.

So many varieties, right from the railway station hot chai in small cups, to the golden liquid that swirls into your cup in a plane. So many tastes, from the strongly brewed and sugary chai to the delicate flavours of green tea.

Some of my chai memories include a really tall glass of very strong and rich tea that I drank at a Punjabi household. I still remember trying hard to finish it and hold it in without throwing up.

I have green tea every morning which is just plain, no milk or sugar added. In the evenings, I have the usual Indian chai, with the tea leaves boiled along with the water, and a moderate quantity of milk added to it. I like my tea without sugar (I gave up adding sugar a few years ago), but I like to eat a little sweet before my tea. I dislike the taste of sweetness that lingers on after sweet tea; this way, I get a taste of sweet, but it gets washed away by the taste of the tea. Marie biscuits dipped in hot tea are a favourite.

For some reason, I just love the tea served on airplanes. I like drinking it plain, without adding the chalky milk powder or sugar. Some of the best teas I have had include my friend’s masala chai, made with homemade masala. Nothing better than to drink one of her chais while gup-shupping with friends!

The other one is the chamomile tea I had in Madrid. It was just too good, so comforting and everything about it – the flavour, the aroma, the temperature –  just right. It was heavenly!

I bought a little teapot in the fond hope that I would brew my own tea, but it didn’t work out so well. I do know some folks who brew their tea in teapots, but I haven’t made a decent cup of tea this way. I love that teapot though – it’s red and cheery and cosy.

I'm a little teapot
I’m a little teapot

I remember our tea in Darjeeling, when we sat on the terrace (or was it a balcony) overflowing with flowers, looked out into the drifting mist, and sipped hot tea. That was straight out of a book!

The weather today is so perfect for curling up in bed with a book and a hot cup of tea. Ah, the small pleasures that life offers.

So, how do you like your cup of tea?


There are people who think singing and dancing to show your love for your country is stupid and shallow.

There are people who think that giving flowers to someone is an empty gesture.

There are people who think that spending some time selecting a good gift for someone is a waste of time.

There are people who think everyday is special and so celebrations are meaningless.

There are people who think saying “I love you” to the people they deeply care about is just lip service.

I was one of them.

I dismissed all gestures as empty and ostentatious.

I hated celebrating my birthday.

Now, however, I’m older and wiser.

What’s wrong in singing and dancing if that gives you joy and a sense of overwhelming love towards your country?

What’s wrong in saying it with flowers?

What’s wrong with a well-chosen and thoughtful gift?

What’s wrong with joyous and happy celebrations?

What’s wrong with expressing and reaffirming oneself whole-heartedly?

I say, go ahead and celebrate! Laugh and sing and dance and be merry to your heart’s content (please do not use loudspeakers though :D). Life is boring when you treat everyday just like the next. Let your voice soar, your feet move, and release your spirit. That is what freedom is all about. And don’t let people who scoff at these efforts pull you down. Let them go ahead and be the same everyday. After all, that is also what freedom is all about.


Last week, I cracked a problem at work.

The issue was a long-pending one, and I kept returning to it on and off, in between other things that were higher on the priority list. It was a niggling problem that didn’t respond to any of the obvious troubleshooting techniques. Last week, I resumed work on it, and there were so many times when I felt the solution was so close at hand, almost at my fingertips, but it remained hell-so-elusive!

Finally, I got a breakthrough almost through serendipity. As I tested and re-tested to ensure my conclusions were correct, my level of euphoria rose. When I could successfully claim to have cracked the problem, I felt almost like yelling “Eureka!” The root of the problem was so crazily unrelated, no wonder it remained unresolved through the traditional methods I had adopted earlier.

These kinds of moments are getting rarer these days. I find myself unable to be completely absorbed by anything. Books seem repetitive, movies appear cliched, and I just don’t have the energy to indulge in a high level of personal interaction any more with other people.

Last couple of weeks, I also choreographed a couple of dances for DD (about time she graduated from Lil D to Dear D, right?) and her friend for some dance contests. Again, this hardly kept me engaged. I’m saying and doing all the expected things, but the level of boredom below is simmering constantly.

I really want something I could sink my teeth into, something that keeps me immersed completely, so that when I look at the clock, I go – “Wow!”, instead of  “Just 5 mins have passed?” I guess I could set myself up to as many challenges as I want, but that’s the thing. I don’t want to do a challenge just for the sake of challenge; I’ve done that for the past year, trying out many new things just for the sake of pushing myself. I want the immersion to happen organically.

Hmmm, maybe I should go and immerse myself in cleaning up the house. But unfortunately, that does not qualify as a Eureka-moment in my books. Any suggestions? 🙂

This Is It

I guess like most other people, I too have been through all the soul-searching and the quest for the meaning of life, and stuff.

Brought up in a pretty religious family that observed the rites and practices quite rigorously, my disillusionment with religion began quite early. I preferred the quiet of the chapel at school to the bustle of the temple, and felt nearer to God there. I began observing the discrimination at temples, how donors were treated differently and allowed closer access to the deity than the general public. I began to be amused by the rituals of bathing, dressing, and feeding the gods, treating them like infants. Surely if God were that powerful, He didn’t need all this doll’s play?

During the long break immediately after my tenth grade exams, I began reading a lot of spiritual literature, which included the Isopanisad, several translations of the Gita, and books by and about various swamis. This was a very spiritual phase in my life, and I began to detest the rites and rituals that marked our religion.

Soon, I entered a rather ambivalent stage, where I was neither very spiritual nor very religious. I guess at that point, other things like studies, friends, career, etc. began to take centre-stage, and religion was just another small segment of my life. But I was still quite vehement about the rituals, even though I did begin to understand that there was a history to it all. I was more drawn to psychology at this point, and was always trying to explain why people did what they did because of biology rather than anything else.

A major turning point of my life, as I’ve mentioned several times before on this blog, was when I read The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. That book unlocked potential in me like never before. I discovered myself, my real strengths and weaknesses, and the fact that I had been living in delusion about myself for quite some time. For the first time, I felt in control of my life, and recognized the choices I had made, and the choices I could continue to make. It gave me a balance that has stood me in good stead all these years.

For many years now, I’ve been on a more or less even keel when it comes to personal and professional life. I’ve learnt so many lessons, and I’ve found happiness in the mundane. The only part which still needs some kicking is my physical fitness, which I do in fits and starts. One thing that I do on and off is meditation. And the more I read about meditation, the more I am convinced that I need to do it regularly.

So recently, a friend was describing one of the meditation techniques and mentioned having a personal mantra to meditate upon. This thought lingered for several days in my mind. There are mantras readily available of course, but I somehow wanted something more personal, something that felt true to me.

I don’t know if mantras are revealed in epiphanies, but I did have one such moment. This is it! – I thought and immediately it felt right. This encapsulates everything I want to say, everything I feel about life on earth. The mantra is so simple, yet it conveys so much.


That is my personal mantra. It reaffirms to me that this moment is what counts. This is it. I can say it in a tone of finality, I can say it in a tone of wonder, I can use it as a question, heck, I can fit it into any situation. But the one I like best says to me – This Is It – what are you going to do? It opens up choices for me, it drives me to act, even if I choose to do nothing.

Needless to say, I am totally kicked about this discovery! Now, if only I could meditate regularly! 🙂

So, have you discovered your personal mantra yet?

Random Thoughts

1. I haven’t seen the movie Frozen, but when I came across this article, I knew I’d have agreed with her assessment had I seen the movie.

The most telling comments were from people who said that they knew something was wrong with the movie, but they couldn’t put their finger on it till they read this article.

I feel exactly the same way about the movies Hirani makes. I wish someone would deconstruct the Munnabhai movies, 3 Idiots, and PK like this.

2. I’ve begun to see Mother’s Day stuff popping up all around now. And discussions, as usual, about whether it’s relevant or not. It struck me that what we really need to have is a ME-Day. On that day, each one of us could do exactly whatever we want and celebrate ourselves, independent of all other ties. Then we could go back to being fathers or mothers or brothers or sisters or whatever. I think that would restore the balance, no?

3. Been reading articles about how even the most well-meaning parents mess up their children. Well, duh, that should take the pressure off parenting, right? So what’s all this about trying to be the most perfect parent ever? Waste of time, I tell you! 🙂

4. Went link-hopping (is that even a word), and landed up on wonderful articles on both science and philosophy. Further reading made me realize my personal views are more aligned with Shankaracharya, rather than Madhwacharya, though I’ve been born into a Madhwa family. I didn’t know so much of what the latter’s philosophy included, and though his arguments are clever, I personally tend to believe in Advaita more than Dvaita. It’s good to know sometimes, I guess. And the quantum physics world is just so fascinating, it’s hard not to get lost in it.

Why Bad is Good

I just read yet another article bemoaning the fact that the news nowadays is full of terrible things, and that there are no takers for good news. Of how the media incites the public on a daily diet of blood and gore, and then shrugs it off as the demand from the market.

It got me thinking, and here’s my theory why “bad” news (in more ways than one) is here to stay. Perhaps I’m over-thinking this, but I’m basing it on what people generally discuss when they hear any type of news.

I think when we hear bad news, we are immediately relieved it is not us. We are grateful that we have been spared, and we finally feel a bit better about ourselves because we escaped it through some good fortune.

Reading about good news relentlessly, however, makes one feel inadequate. We feel overwhelmed by the fact that others are out there doing things, living worthwhile lives, while we just go on with our ordinary lives. I guess it makes one a wee bit disheartened, and not so happy about oneself.

So, I guess that’s why bad news remains on the front page*. What do you think?

* When I wrote that, I immediately thought about the current trends of full page advertisements on the front page. Hmmm, now is that good news or bad news? 😀