I’ve become quite involved with the apartment complex activities.

For one thing, I’ve joined the group that works on Eco-related activities, such as garbage segregation, emphasizing the Reduce-Reuse-Recycle stuff, and so on. As part of this, apart from other things, I got a bunch of kids together, and we did a street play (with a dance added on later) that was much appreciated.

The other thing was getting involved in the Karnataka Rajyotsava celebrations. This time, yours truly wrote and directed a play for kids based on Swami and Friends, choreographed a dance for the pre-teens, and surprise of surprises, shouldered the responsibilities of MCing along with another friend.

It really helps that I have a rock-solid group of friends I can always fall back on, and turn to, for any kind of help. It’s good to work with like-minded people who focus on doing a great job.

What was curious about all this busy-ness is that I took it upon myself to do this voluntarily, something I’ve not done since maybe college. In spite of taking on so much, and falling ill with a virus that sapped me of all my strength, I didn’t feel strained or stretched. Instead I felt completely disconnected and more or less emotionless. I was not perturbed in the least by anything whatsoever. No butterflies in the stomach, breaking into a sweat, or getting a case of nerves. Just an eerie calm that surrounded me and made me a veritable island.

The only emotion I have now looking back is one of gratitude. I feel grateful that I had a chance to do what I did, and most importantly, grateful to the kids who placed such touching faith in me and listened to my every word. It was humbling to have so much trust reposed in me. It’s also been a (re)learning experience for me. I can only think of all the things that could have been improved.

Does this mean I’ve reached nirvana? A place where I’m able to accept whatever the fruits of my labour yield, where I’m able to work just for the sake of working? Is this wisdom or just a cutting-off, an isolation from the world, yet another manifestation of the blues?

Hard to say. We never stop seeking answers to the unanswerable, do we?

2 thoughts on “Nirvana?

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