The Defence Urge

I don’t know about you, but I have this very silly habit that has placed me into all sorts of predicaments.

The thing is, when I hear a very one-sided conversation, in the sense that everyone’s agreeing on something, I have this insane desire to argue and justify just the opposite. Never mind if I am in complete agreement with the views being expressed, and my personal opinion is based on exactly the same facts and observations and reactions. I just have to jump in with precisely the opposite idea, and try and justify it, even if I end up looking like a complete fool!

I am not sure why I have this propensity for such self-humiliation. I try to delude myself that I like playing the devil’s advocate, that I like “exploring” the opposite view, and so on. But that, unfortunately, doesn’t stop other people from concluding that I am a weirdo with crazy ideas.

I’m improving, though. Recently, I participated in just such a conversation, and I was so tempted to jump in with my impromptu contrarian view. Unusually, I controlled myself and held my tongue, just listening instead of letting myself go in the wrong direction.

I tided over that little crisis pretty well. Thank God there’s some hope after all! 😀

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