Sometimes, I feel I am like a bridled horse. I try to keep my vision on what I want to see rather than on what is actually around me. I prefer to surround myself with positive thoughts, dislike unpleasantness, and avoid confrontation at any cost. Whenever I do feel negative emotions building up, I prefer to vent it out in a safe environment, and get back to equilibrium.
I was talking with a friend, and she asked me an interesting question: looking back on your life, how do you feel about it (this attitude)?
Honestly, I feel quite ok about it. I have always been this way, and prefer my life to flow at a sedate pace, rather than go on emotional rollercoaster with highs and lows. Sometimes, of course, I do wonder if I am missing anything, but then it goes back to my preference — that’s the way I’d really like it.
However this carefully arranged cocoon of a rainbow world can sometimes be disrupted, and I get a rude jolt. I am suddenly aware of the strong passions, the intense hates and dislikes, the deep biases and prejudices, and it disturbs me greatly. I feel physically sick, my pulse rate goes up, and I get really upset. I feel so strongly that treating each other as humans with compassion and empathy is what finally matters. So when I get even a whiff of these intense negative emotions, I am literally shaken, and it takes me a while to get back to normal.
I’ve always been of the opinion that life is too short to waste on being negative. But sometimes, when it stares you in the face, you’ve just got to deal with it and remember that this too shall pass!
I suppose I’m not making too much sense. Oh well, some things never change! 😀