I am frustrated. Very frustrated, to be honest.
I am just not able to write these days.
There, I’ve said it.
It’s not that I can’t write — I can, and I do. But the stuff that I’m churning out is so flat, so uninspiring, so utterly banal, that it makes me want to cry. I’ve tried everything possible. I’ve written exercises by the dozen, sent out submissions to make me feel I’m doing something worthwhile, taken long breaks from writing, read some good books… you name it.
Perhaps I should just accept that I will never write inspired stuff again, the way I used to (even if I say so myself! 🙂 ). Perhaps I should just lay down my pen (or my laptop) and walk away without looking back.
But here’s the thing — it’s so goddamn hard to give up! It’s something that’s brought me so much joy, I can’t just quit turkey. At the same time, it’s driving me nuts, and the frustration of not writing satisfying stuff runs non-stop like a hamster on wheels somewhere deep within.
Till then, if you are still reading me(!), you will have to put up with mediocre writing. And I am so sorry about that.