Shankari tagged me and I must confess that it’s really difficult to pinpoint 5 things I love about being a mother. See, I can write reams and reams about why I love Lil D, but that’s hardly the answer, right? Anyway, here goes.
1. I love the physical aspect of love. The hugs, the kisses, the jumping, the climbing, the way she runs into my arms – it’s tangible. There are no strings attached, no games being played. I love to hold her and hug her close, and my heart really overflows with love when I hug her.
2. I love being the recipent of such unconditional trust. Once we went walking for quite some time, stopping at many different places, and she was happy just to be with me. She didn’t really care where I was taking her – that trust is so invaluable, so precious. It brought home to me the fact that when children are abused at a young age, it really is terrible, a real trauma. And I was grateful for that trust. It means a lot to me.
3. I love watching her grow. It is simply amazing the way a little baby grows so beautifully. Every new thing she does is delightful, and seeing the step-by-step evolution at such close quarters is fantastic. It is difficult to think again like a child, to see the world in such a different way. It’s something you forget quite easily as you grow, and to get to be a part of it again is wonderful. That I am contributing also in some way to her growth is what makes it satisfying too.
4. I love that she comes back to me. I think one of a person’s deepest needs is to be needed. And as a mother, that need gets fulfilled completely. When she’s happy, when she’s sad, she shares it with me. She’s still not got past the possessive phase, and she wants me all the time. But I hope that she will always come back to me, or at least know that she can, whenever she needs.
5. I love how it has made me complete. Motherhood has made a big difference to my life, and it has completed an essential part of me. I always enjoyed being with and around kids. Motherhood was something that almost slipped my grasp. I would always have regretted it if I had not taken the right steps at the right time. I feel so moved sometimes when Lil D says “You’re my mom, that’s why.” I think you earn your right to be a mother, and I am grateful that I got my chance at it.