I guess like most other people, I too have been through all the soul-searching and the quest for the meaning of life, and stuff.
Brought up in a pretty religious family that observed the rites and practices quite rigorously, my disillusionment with religion began quite early. I preferred the quiet of the chapel at school to the bustle of the temple, and felt nearer to God there. I began observing the discrimination at temples, how donors were treated differently and allowed closer access to the deity than the general public. I began to be amused by the rituals of bathing, dressing, and feeding the gods, treating them like infants. Surely if God were that powerful, He didn’t need all this doll’s play?
During the long break immediately after my tenth grade exams, I began reading a lot of spiritual literature, which included the Isopanisad, several translations of the Gita, and books by and about various swamis. This was a very spiritual phase in my life, and I began to detest the rites and rituals that marked our religion.
Soon, I entered a rather ambivalent stage, where I was neither very spiritual nor very religious. I guess at that point, other things like studies, friends, career, etc. began to take centre-stage, and religion was just another small segment of my life. But I was still quite vehement about the rituals, even though I did begin to understand that there was a history to it all. I was more drawn to psychology at this point, and was always trying to explain why people did what they did because of biology rather than anything else.
A major turning point of my life, as I’ve mentioned several times before on this blog, was when I read The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. That book unlocked potential in me like never before. I discovered myself, my real strengths and weaknesses, and the fact that I had been living in delusion about myself for quite some time. For the first time, I felt in control of my life, and recognized the choices I had made, and the choices I could continue to make. It gave me a balance that has stood me in good stead all these years.
For many years now, I’ve been on a more or less even keel when it comes to personal and professional life. I’ve learnt so many lessons, and I’ve found happiness in the mundane. The only part which still needs some kicking is my physical fitness, which I do in fits and starts. One thing that I do on and off is meditation. And the more I read about meditation, the more I am convinced that I need to do it regularly.
So recently, a friend was describing one of the meditation techniques and mentioned having a personal mantra to meditate upon. This thought lingered for several days in my mind. There are mantras readily available of course, but I somehow wanted something more personal, something that felt true to me.
I don’t know if mantras are revealed in epiphanies, but I did have one such moment. This is it! – I thought and immediately it felt right. This encapsulates everything I want to say, everything I feel about life on earth. The mantra is so simple, yet it conveys so much.
THIS IS IT.
That is my personal mantra. It reaffirms to me that this moment is what counts. This is it. I can say it in a tone of finality, I can say it in a tone of wonder, I can use it as a question, heck, I can fit it into any situation. But the one I like best says to me – This Is It – what are you going to do? It opens up choices for me, it drives me to act, even if I choose to do nothing.
Needless to say, I am totally kicked about this discovery! Now, if only I could meditate regularly! :)
So, have you discovered your personal mantra yet?